25/11/2022
LETTER POST MÁLAGA
“It is not easy to explain in words the love felt these days for Jesus, it is easier to reflect it through the gaze or the change of attitude and disposition towards Him. My arrival at this God Stop was not easy at all, in fact I decided two days before the 25th and I remember Alfredo called me saying, ‘but where are you coming from now?’ and with all his good disposition he introduced me to the group, he called me at eleven at night to explain what he had surely been explaining in the group for a whole week or more!. But that’s how I am sometimes, insecure, controlling about leaving my house, my husband, my children, the grandmother we take care of on weekends, for me it was a real challenge to go alone, and more so to this God Stop, the first one I did, without knowing anyone and without friends to support me. But there was always something inside me that told me “Go, you will not regret it, I will be with you.” So I surrendered myself into the hands of the Father and suddenly He began to make the path more comfortable; at home everyone with a smile without complaints ready to help and have an orderly weekend, the grandmother also cared for, and on top of that He put two wonderful people as companions on the trip who made the journey fun and pleasant. How deeply Jesus knows our hearts!! and how He pampers us when we let ourselves be led by Him with the trust of a child to his Father.
Upon arrival, a senior couple from Granada was also there, both super welcoming and affectionate, not to mention of course all the welcome from the organizers and the family atmosphere that was breathed upon arrival.
Friday night was the adaptation and putting faces to break the ice a little and Saturday morning was intense with talks by D. Miguel that could not have been more enriching, leaving the whole Saturday afternoon for adoration and silence within us letting the Holy Spirit work in our hearts, ending with a super special session where they made us feel truly resurrected to life. Oh my, when they put the sheet completely covering us and when we got up we found the Lord exposed!! The feeling of weakness wanting to hug Him and cry was tremendous, and then the celebration of the Eucharist that fills the heart completely.
But within all these feelings I also had a lot of anxiety and confusion in my heart throughout Saturday, I knew something was transforming my inside and I was not letting it act freely, my fears, prejudices perhaps from past experiences regarding commitment to something I might not be able to continue, my whim to leave the comfort of day to day, saying a resounding YES to follow this path I believed I was hearing inside and to which I was putting up a wall to not let it act and ultimately my rebellion where I confused the word freedom with bondage made me not listen anymore.
But the Lord knows more, on Saturday night I stayed in the chapel before the Lord until late at night, looking at Him, seeking an answer to so many conflicting feelings and in the end I decided, a song made me change my course suddenly “Hasta la locura” whose author is Pablo Martínez and which María and Arturo sang with so much affection that it touched my heart deeply. My walls started to crumble and I let in God’s affection with total freedom and let myself be in His hands to truly listen to Him, and so on Sunday morning I got up more eager than ever to be in the chapel with Him to listen to Him, to let Him act in my heart and the final touch was given by D. Miguel in his last talk, where a phrase was fundamental: “How comfortable we are on the shore by the sea, with our book, getting into the water when we feel like it, when the sea is not rough, when we go out and come in when we want!, but the beautiful thing is to feel like a child in the hands of his Father when there are waves and together they go into the sea, the child knowing that with Him nothing will happen because despite the waves and getting wet he will always be protected by his father.
And here I heard in my heart that the Lord was asking me to take one more step, to get out of comfort and get wet when I felt like it because the rest would be a headache for me!!. Jesus was asking me for courage, to take steps little by little, by His hand, like the child who begins to walk, and who little by little runs, even marathons!, that’s how I felt, Jesus was asking me to move forward, not to stay on the shore and go into the sea, even if it was rough and even with hurricanes because with total certainty He was not going to let me go. And addressing D. Miguel after the Eucharist I could not hold back the desire to tell him and I did not want to leave without having requested to want to get involved until the end for the Church and for Jesus, to join this revolution with which my heart identifies so much because YES, I am rebellious, but rebellious for and for His Love, to follow Him, to sail by His side and make so many sad hearts come to know Him, to be filled with His Love to be able to transform their lives with a new look and hope towards the heart of Jesus always hand in hand with Mary, because she was the one who said a resounding Yes to the Angel when he announced that she would be the Mother of God and without her we cannot sail! …. May we know how to carry the joy of being Christian around the world and transform it in our day to day without ceasing to be who we are, without extraordinary things, friends of our friends, loving and letting ourselves be loved. Ultimately living carrying Christ in our hearts, living from Him and for Him.
So a weekend that will be forever engraved in my life to which I can only say one super big word THANK YOU!!!
A hug!
