If you only knew… (INDIA 2018)

<<< 09/30/2018 This might be the way to start when I think from home about the crazy month I have lived with what has become a big family: HAKUNA. Going back supposedly means subjecting yourself to a constant bombardment of questions: How was the experience? Did it shock you a lot? Was it hard? A lot of poverty? Has it been a before and after in your life? Have you been with the sisters? Have you talked to them? Faced with these questions, I found a half smile drawing on my face and a thought crossing my mind: If you only knew... If you only knew what it means for 193 people to become family, a hand that offers you help and support, a smile that gives you strength, a hug, a sincere "how are you?", testimonies that make you open your eyes to things you had never considered or had not given the right perspective... If you only knew what it means to see people with their serum bottle leaving the pain but still walking with everyone because we are ONE team, walking through the desert carrying your backpack or you carrying someone else's, starting to sing at the top of your lungs and that giving you a good boost of energy to keep going, walking with people and having passionate conversations, connecting with people you had never exchanged a word with before... If you only knew what it means to feel part of the group, of a family that is incomplete without you. If you only knew what the words kitchen team and vegetarian menu mean... If you only knew what a Mc Joseph imitation like "Hombreeeeee, how are you, what’s up??" is like. If you only knew the fun that pasta and rice bring, cereals sneaked outside of breakfast, chocolate croissants that don’t taste like chocolate... If you only knew the wonder of entering the desert night, walking with that fresh breeze hitting your face, under a starry sky and with an Indian in flip-flops leading... Arriving and celebrating Mass over a sea of dunes, under a vault of small and twinkling lights headed by a big, round Moon. God, THANK YOU. If you only knew what it is to give thanks or to be thanked from the heart nonstop, 24 hours a day!... If you only knew what the pain of laughter from countless bad jokes is and what a couple of guitars can do... If you only knew what it meant to be on a train for 33 hours, whole nights and days on tin buses... with birthday celebrations, improvised roll-arounds, spectacular landscapes, Mass in a car like "sardines in a can," relaxed conversations, trips riding on the bus roof or sticking your legs out the train door... Oh God, if you only knew what it is to feel good, to feel free, to feel fulfilled! If you only knew what a testimony is... the luck of having amazing people like Luis, Caro, Ana... who have a monumental heart and strength, brave ones who have You, Lord. If you only knew what it is to see that love without feeling is love... If you only knew what it is to look into the eyes of an Indian child, into those two black stars that disarm you and make you rethink everything; to feel helplessness at the impossibility of changing the situation and smallness because everything is too big for you. If you only knew what it meant to have the luck to go to Calcutta, where the legacy of a great one like Mother Teresa still continues, to manage to see God despite so much misery, to test yourself, to discover new facets of yourself in different situations; to see the love with which the sisters do everything, to feel loved when you give yourself to that disabled old man and to grow. To grow in that love. If you only knew what it meant to see your own poverty surrounded by external poverty, to feel at home curled up in the tomb of Mother Teresa of Calcutta, to feel what I felt when I knelt with my eyes closed and felt peace like never before... If you only knew what it is to live (not just attend) an Hour of Adoration, to pray with songs that stir the tornado of thoughts, doubts, and questions you carry inside and to bow before HIM and say: YOU ARE THE KING OF MY LIFE, THE NUMBER 1 OF MY HEART. And to manage to make 194 voices into just ONE voice that makes anyone vibrate. If you only knew what it feels like when you realize you feel God... If you knew what it is for Him to show up for you, to wrap you with His life, to bury you inside His Heart and that no one can take you out... If you only knew what it is to call God, Dad and feel that smallness before His immensity, that VERTIGO... If you only knew what it is to feel that: You, GET UP. That call to set the world on fire. If you only knew what it is to truly know you are loved by Christ, to get up for love, to serve, serve and serve for a Poor Madman... If you only knew what it feels like to sing with 194 mouths, "come spirit come" and for Him to come... If you only knew what it feels like to be kneeling and shout: I love you more than my life, I love you more than my life, I love you more than my life... If you only knew what Santos de Copas means, what it is to feel Santos de Copas... If you only knew what the euphoria of a revolution is, that inner flame that in an instant becomes a fire that spreads fiercely... If you only knew all this, you would know what I mean when I say HAKUNA, that I am not crazy, when I talk about friends, that I have grown with others, when I talk about God, when I say I never knew what praying was until now and that there is still much to learn and grow, you would know why I am not afraid of returning to reality, of living with Him this summer, of not being lazy to go back to class and work, because I greet the day with a smile and because I need to go to Mass and be with Him... because with His hand I know I will reach everything. Because I have begun to trust. If you only knew all this... You would know why I am happy. >>>