I come to be cared for

<<< 11/25/2022 It is my first GOD STOP. And I come to let myself be cared for, to park my life for a while: the pace, the people, my family, my financial problems, work… I have come here seeking peace. I have come here to find myself with you, Jesus. I have come here to make decisions and hope that you show me the way. But, Jesus, the first thing you show me is NO, that those are not your plans. You do not decide for me. And wow, I wasn’t expecting that, but that is what YOU remind me. I am free. In one of the talks, Don Miguel encourages us to let ourselves be surprised. And I tell you: “Jesus, okay, surprise me”… But if something gets stuck, rescue me in your presence, take care of everything. The first tears fall. I can’t tell if they are from fear, uncertainty, despair… but I feel your closeness. Yours, Jesus. How you use them so that I am well, feel respected, welcomed, and loved. No one asks me why I cry, but they smile at me. I like that in the talks they speak to ME, and to you… realize that, you who read or listen to me. It seems like there is no one else. And I sense that you are looking for me, that you have been waiting for me all my life… and now we are in the desert untying knots YOU AND I, returning to the essential, emptying this crazy head of so much noise so we can talk whispering. I live your love and that is enough for me now. I feel pampered, ignited again, and my soul calms down. And Don Miguel asks the question: “Have you lost the capacity for wonder?”. Don’t let it be indifferent to you, Lord. Amaze me. I leave it to you. I feel your presence. And I CHOOSE to spend more time with you. I SEE you! You give me infinite gifts. I sense they are yours. How finely you weave! I even see you in the name they gave my room, FOROFOS… At this moment in my life when I am discovering how great the Church is, YOU come and give me that. I SEE you! In the service of those who get their hands dirty. I see you in the gestures of those here, in their testimonies, in the voices of this choir that lifts us up… And although I feel a bit dizzy because I want to control everything and You unsettle me, it is madness to LOVE YOU. And I CHOOSE to let myself be made. And I CHOOSE to participate in everything and let myself be carried away. I CHOOSE to swim against the current. I choose to live my life dreamed by you, even if the wounds sting… we will heal them later. I CHOOSE to say YES to you like Mary to what you ask of me, even if I don’t feel like it, but I don’t want a comfortable life or for my capricious heart to govern me. Not anymore. I CHOOSE to dive into the tide, because I KNOW it is with you. Well… all this is what I am living in my first God Stop. And you, how are you doing? What is your attitude? You are free to decide how you live it, but if there is something I have internalized here it is that I AM his favorite. And you too. Let him show you. I choose to TRUST. I choose to enjoy every holy hour, even if I feel nothing or get bored, or fall asleep, and also if the prayers made into song allow me to feel that internal flutter that I like so much. I choose to CRY, but not out of sadness, but out of abandonment and hope. I choose to dance and stop with stories. And now I sense that God likes all this, and my breathing becomes calm. I have not found answers to the questions I came looking for, God has turned the situation upside down. These are not my times. They are yours. There will be things that happen to me that I will never understand. And that’s okay. But I CHOOSE to confront my life in the light of the spirit wherever I am, with my gaze fixed on heaven, listening to my steps and LOVING MUCH. Thanks to Don Miguel and everyone, everyone, for helping me… without knowing it. Deeply grateful. >>>