19/03/2020
The truth is that everything has evolved very quickly and I am still trying to understand what is happening. It seems that difficult times are coming, the worst part is that we do not know how all this will continue to evolve. In the face of all this, a gray-colored scenario presents itself. With all this, I ask myself a question: For what? For what so much suffering of so many families? For what so much work that can never be paid for all the healthcare staff? For what all this situation?
I look back on my still short life and see that everything that has happened has a quite clear “for what.” However, from here it is hard for me to distinguish it. I refuse to think that all this is for nothing, that God is not capable of bringing anything good out of this. Honestly, I think that no matter how much I think, I will not be able to find a definitive answer. Right now, only this comes to mind: What if all this is nothing more than a call from Jesus at our door? What if we have “deified” ourselves so much that it was the only way Jesus had to wake us up?
We have gotten used to controlling everything, absolutely everything. We have believed ourselves owners of everything around us (diseases, resources, people, and, unbelievably, even life itself). In all this controlling mentality, there is no room for unexpected twists, for improvisations that break our schemes. It seems that we are writing a movie script in which we choose the characters, the settings, the conversations, and in which God does not enter, and if He does, it is in the way we want. If God wants to enter our movie, He has to ask us and fulfill a series of requirements (He has to give me what I ask for when I ask for it; He has to ask me, but not too much; I choose how far I can give…). We have believed ourselves directors of a movie in which we are nothing more than mere protagonists. We have forgotten that the director of this movie, which is life, is God. He is the one who knows what all this is about, who has written the script.
The only answer I find to that “for what” I posed earlier is this: all this is nothing more than a call from God at the door inviting us to refocus our lives, to realize that we control nothing, to realize the fragility of our nature if He is not with us.
As I said before, difficult times are coming, especially for all that healthcare staff who face days of intense work, with risk of contagion.
That is why I think the best thing is to try to get into our heads that “Lord, you know more,” that phrase from a great saint who said: “if God could fit in our heads, how small He would be!”
