10/11/2023
I begin to write this letter one week after God Stop, back to the same daily routine, yet everything so different.
I went to God Stop with no expectations at all, I had never been to a retreat in my life and didn’t know what to expect from it, only that He wanted me there. A few weeks earlier during an Hour of Adoration I asked Him to guide me a little and show me what my next step should be. At the end, going to the bar across the street with everyone, Josepe approached me and talked with me for about 10 minutes. Just before ending our conversation, he told me to sign up for God Stop. Only a few minutes had passed since I asked Jesus for something and He had already answered me.
In the following weeks, everyone I mentioned I had signed up told me I wouldn’t regret the experience and that it was going to be incredible.
We arrived in Cifuentes among the first, after a very pleasant trip with my car companions, and I remember being impressed by how welcoming everything looked.
Later they gave us several tips to improve the experience and I decided to try to follow them all, especially keeping silence and turning off the phone, something I would end up being very grateful for.
On Saturday morning we alternated between Josepe’s talks and moments of adoration and, although the talks were very interesting, I didn’t understand why they said it was such an incredible experience, they were just okay.
Later, at lunch, several guys were super attentive to me because of my peculiar intolerance and I am very grateful to all of them for how well they took care of me.
In the afternoon we prayed the rosary in the cozy hermitage and then continued with the talks.
I remember the last one was outdoors and I was freezing cold, but this talk reached me in a special way, at that moment I didn’t understand how, but it prepared me for what was to come that afternoon.
After having a snack, we slowly went back into the chapel, but now it was filled with incense and little candles decorating everything. I had to stand at the very back and although at first it made me a little angry, the moment the choir started singing behind me, tears fell from my eyes, the first of many that afternoon. I think I have never cried so much in my life, I looked like a baby, back to when everything was so simple, when we didn’t have so many worries and problems. During this adoration everything started to connect and fit, and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING. Like when you are watching a mystery series and in the last episode all doubts are resolved and all the pieces of the puzzle fit. That’s how I felt, complete for the first time in 19 years, Alive. At the end of the adoration, I was still on my knees, as if time had not passed.
Now it was time to prepare… for a wedding! But not just any wedding, mine, each one of ours, with Him. After celebrating it we had a great banquet, a small break from silence, but at the end back to silence, to adore Him. They let us adore Him as much as we wanted before going to sleep and I was able to thank Him so much for what He had given me that day and all my life. Once again, time became nonexistent and it was already 2 in the morning and it was time to rest.
The next day, after hardly sleeping, I wasn’t tired but happy. We had some more talks from Josepe and a beautiful farewell Mass. After lunch and a very enriching personal talk with Josepe, it was time to leave.
In the car back to Madrid, just when I thought God Stop was over, we talked about our experiences and it was another gift it left me.
Now, a week after everything lived in those two intense days, I can say there is a change in me, although I am still the same I now feel Alive. I have stopped being like the cows that watch their life go by doing nothing, as Josepe said.
To close my words I can only give thanks, give thanks for EVERYTHING.
